autumn-sunriseHave you ever risen in the morning, after a 6-8 hour sleep session, and felt as if your spirit spent the night away from your body? That happened to me this morning. I spent the last 30 minutes or so talking to a drawing of a fish (my son drew it for me) and asking him/her how I could explain this experience in writing. More specifically – in a way that would make sense.
The reason I felt compelled to discuss this with an inanimate object is because I often get my best advice from things that do not speak. Or listen. Or understand…I suppose I just need something to look at while I am thinking.

This morning:
I wake up at 7:45 AM. Roosters are already digesting breakfast and the sun is high above the horizon. I stretch my arms above my head and stretch my legs– instantly, both of my hamstrings and shoulder blades lock up. I am frozen into position. The locking of my shoulder blades is painless, but the hamstrings feel as though they are getting twisted with pliers. My only option is to wait it out…I am frozen and unable to move.
A few minutes later, the pain subsides and I am able to move– yet I lay motionless. The only movements on my body are the blinking of my eyes and the slow raising of my chest with every breath.
I still feel frozen, although, I feel I can move if I choose to. Approximately 10 minutes pass and I still have not moved a muscle. No particular reason, I just haven’t moved.
Skip ahead to 8:45– one hour after I first opened my eyes. Still not a movement – only the spot-on, rhythmic pattern of my breathing and the blinking of my eyes.
Then-– chest pain! Incredible chest pain that forces my body to sit upright insanely fast. The moment I get myself sitting upright, the pain transfers to my shoulders and then down to the middle of my back. The entire transfer from chest to back takes 4 to 5 seconds.
“What the hell is this?,” I said.
The moment I voice those words is the moment all the pain stops. It’s gone. Intense pain one second – fully pain-free the next.
I gently test my body by moving around a bit while I am still on the bed. Slow stretches of my back and arms. Then a few leg stretches. I am okay. It is gone.
Now I am thirsty. I move toward the edge of my bed. I toss a few pillows out of my way and place both feet on the floor. It is at that moment I realize the intent. The pain, the feeling of being frozen from it, and the feeling of being able to move yet not moving. The instant release from all of it proves that I am free.
I am aware. I was awake. I was thinking yet my thinking wasn’t reactionary. In hindsight, my thoughts were on “auto-pilot.” I was living in a temporary default setting. My body reacted to the re-entry of my subjective consciousness. I am unsure what caused the pain. Perhaps the pain was inflicted as a 5-second distraction so I wouldn’t recall much of the re-entry. I don’t know this for sure but, it’s a good starting point.
I want the higher wisdom to know one thing-– I live my life with constant curiosity. It never fades or becomes less intense. I see beauty in things that some people don’t even “see.” I know I am not my body. I know I am not my possessions. I know I am not what I do. I know these words I am writing now aren’t mine. I know that I am not what people think of me. I am increasingly curious of you. I fear nothing because there is nothing more powerful than the human spirit.
I am everything. I am everyone. This blip of reality I am experiencing at this moment is a dream. It’s a cosmic manifestation of thought, imagination, and consciousness. I know all of us, are fragments of something so big and so incredibly magical it’s beyond our comprehension. It’s a truly fascinating topic to discuss but, that’s all it is. A topic. It will always be a topic because this universal wisdom is something we aren’t capable of conceiving due to our limited, 5-senses-perception of the universe.
Intuition, love, and oneness – We instinctively feel these things yet we can’t explain them. This is where the road to truth is. Go with the formless and go with what is in your heart. Never feel obligated to explain yourself. I guarantee if you do this, even if you slip up at times – you’ll never be too far from your path. And your path is yours – there’s no speed limit and there’s no traffic. Go drive and don’t stop until there’s nothing left in the tank.

Much love and
thank you for reading.