Last week I had a short-lived, moderate anxiety spell. I know why it happened – in fact, I knew why, as it was happening. This fact didn’t stop it from occurring though. I believe it was part of the process to understanding balance. I was in an all-out sprint for well over 2 weeks.
Write, read, eat, sleep, work, write, write, read, read, read, eat, very little sleep, work. repeat. Now, I didn’t keep a journal so I don’t know if the timeline of the last sentence is chronologically accurate, but I am sure you get the point. I was mentally and physically exhausted and it was 100% self-induced.
I love writing. I love everything about it. As, the great one, Stephen King says when referring to the reader/writer connection – “We’re not even in the same year together, let alone the same room . . . . except we are together. We’re close. We’re having a meeting of the minds.” (Hello, goosebumps, haven’t seen you since this morning. How you been? How’s the family? Me? Oh, you know. Same old stuff.)
Words are timeless. Piecing words and phrases together to paint a portrait in the reader’s mind. To take the invisible thought of a writer, give it form in the way of written word and have it transfer back to a formless emotion and/or thought in another person. Hours, days, weeks, months, even decades apart – this communication takes place. Such a beautiful concept!
The anxiety – I had no sense, nor did I care, about balancing my time effectively and maintaining my well-being. I was so intensely focused on acquiring knowledge or creating a larger sampling of work – that I dismissed the responsibilities I have for myself to feel well-rested and energized everyday. By doing this, my body reacted and I felt an unusual amount of anxiety. Not to mention weakness and irritability from lack of sleep and lack of nutrition.
So why am I writing about this? That’s a good question. Why would I publicly admit to weakness? What if that slows down my progress? Why bring it up at all, especially if it’s over and things are back to normal? Also good questions. The answer for both is simple. It’s love.
Let me explain – I’ve had this blog up for a few days. I don’t exactly have a preconceived idea about where I’d like to take it or even how the WordPress community works yet. I am sure I will know and understand both fairly soon however, the reason I admit to weakness is because I feel powerful. If, even years from now, a struggling writer or a novice writer reads something I write and it empowers them – then it’s a win. For me and him/her. Writers know that writing is difficult. You experience waves of inspiration and, of course, the words flow with ease at those times. If you’re a writer looking to do some great things or inspire others, it’s imperative that you write everyday to get better – there’s always room to improve. This means you’re writing when you aren’t feeling like it, when you feel tired, or when inspiration is nowhere to be found. Those are the times, I think, when you slowly find your niche. Others may disagree but, for me, that’s what I’ve experienced.
Until next time and as always –