Janet Marie.

Every day, as the sun lights up my side of this rock, at least one thought of you passes through my endless stream of thoughts, until eventually the sun sets over the horizon to give life to the other side – and the process starts again.
It’s foolproof. Infallible. An impeccable cosmic mystery – yet flooded with intention.

But on this day, the 28th of July, you are in some way connected to every 3rd thought or so within this amazingly complex neurological instrument in my skull.
Often these thoughts are completely intentional.


Brought on by sustained recollections of your angelic nature.
Your selfless action in kindred spirits that stretched far beyond those home-grown roots and firmly rooted itself among passerby’s and strangers alike – without question.

This was who you were. This is who you are – still.
This is who I proudly aim to emulate.
It’s a high bar but, I believe it’s a bar all of us start with as children.
Innocence and love at its core.

The game involves staying within yourself and not allowing the outside noise to ultimately cause you to lose sight of that bar. We all have it. All of us. Nobody reading this is exempt from it. That means you.

My Mother was a kind, loving, giving nurturer to my brothers and I.
Sure, she had times of trials and experienced hardships. These moments weakened the vibrational frequency of her true essence. It is important to remember that those things are what shape us. They mold us. They complete this temporary human experience we are living.
I learned these things by observing my Mother for 21 years until she passed away on July 28th, 1999 – I was 21 years old.
Today – I choose to celebrate my Mother’s life. I choose to remember her unconditional love – her infectious smile – her compassionate spirit and her life of service to her family.

I will not give notice to the evil, malevolent, diabolical, vile, wicked, and devilish disease that ended her human experience far too soon.

*Cancer – I’m coming to find you. When I do find you, (I will find you) you will be destroyed and buried under miles of horse shit…if you’re lucky. You better hope I don’t find you on a bad day*

My apologies for the language and showing of anger. But – I am assuming you all know the anger too.

My Mom – I miss her like crazy, man. I wish she could see what I’ve been doing. I wish she could read what I’ve been writing. I wish she could hear how high I’ve set the bar for myself. I wish she could see how badly I’ve been kicking my own ass to achieve these aspirations.

BUT – In an intuitive way – I feel she knows all of this. And I hope she’s proud of her son. That’s all I really want.

I love you, Mom.
I miss you more than any words I can find in this mental filing cabinet at the moment.

Again – thank you for everything.

Your 2nd born son,

Matthew Frederick.